Dear Grumpy Old Hag that came out of Ernie's on forest ave last night,
Your unnecessary heckling about me leaving my car running for 1 minute was just mind bending. As you stumbled out of the bar after a rousing game of pool and 10 beers with your other butch friends, you thought it was necessary to try and pick a fight with me because I left my car running while picking up some delicious Thai food. Sorry, I'm not going to shut off my car, and I'm not going to have a street fighter style brawl with you over it. All those poor baby foxes I killed with carbon monoxide by idling for 1 minute will have to deal.
Someday, when I'm sitting at a stoplight, and you pull up next to me in your sexy green Achieva, I'll toss that chocolate milkshake I'm drinking in your car. I hope it hits you in the face, b&%#@.
I want those two minutes of my life back.
Love,
-Ryan